Grief Around the Holidays

The holiday season has a reputation for being the most wonderful time of the year, but for some of us, the holidays can bring up unwanted memories, uncomfortable feelings, and indescribable grief. Standing amidst the colorful lights and the holiday cheer, it’s easy to feel alienated and lonely when the specter of grief rears its head. But you’re not alone in facing your grief this holiday season. There are options to ease your burden. 

Choose What Works For You 

When we are grieving our losses, it can feel like we have no sense of control, so making any decision can be extremely powerful. If there’s an activity that triggers you and fills you with dread, examine why that is, and whether it’s worth continuing. Knowing our limitations is a vital step when it comes to setting ourselves up for success, and by being choosy, we can acknowledge our limitations through good planning. 

Connect With Your Loved Ones

In grief, we might not feel like talking with anybody at all, but taking the effort to connect with our loved ones can make a serious impact on our mood, mindset, and mental health. Human beings are social animals, and our brains are hardwired to find extreme satisfaction in the act of connecting with others. Although in depression and grief, it can be taxing to reach out, even to trusted loved ones. Despite this, being in touch with a solid support system is completely worth any of the potential discomforts. You can connect with your loved ones by attending (or organizing) a holiday party, calling a safe family member on the phone, or even just by getting gifts for the people you love. 

Communicate About Your Grief

In our pride and our pain, it’s tempting to shut ourselves out from the world and fear the potential pain that could come from being understood and misunderstood. It can feel easier to isolate ourselves than to open our hearts and potentially have to cope with yet another loss. But communication might be the very best option we have for coping with our grief. It doesn’t have to be dramatic or perfect for the communication to be worthwhile. It could be something as small as mentioning that grief has been on your mind to a loved one. It could be as large as opening up about your grief to a counselor. Whatever it is, your grief cannot escape communication unchanged. The act of speaking and being known can transform your grief into vivid knowable feelings. You can verbally communicate your grief, or you can express it through art. Here are some art activities that can help. 

Honor Your Ancestors

Cultures all around the world honor their ancestors in one way or another. Paying your respects to your ancestors can alleviate some of the grief, especially for those of us mourning a departed family member. Of course, it can be painful to remember those who are no longer with us. Of course, when we remember what we had, we feel the loss more acutely. But like disinfecting a wound, or setting a broken bone, there is healing that lies beyond the discomfort of pain. You can honor your ancestors by making a shrine to them, taking part in an activity they would have enjoyed, or even just remembering something you loved about them.

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.