Kindness is choosing to help someone out of the warmth of your heart. As human beings, we are born reliant on the kindness of others, and we never grow out of it. Kindness underpins everything we try to accomplish, and a lack of kindness for yourself can blockade your development at every step. So if kindness is so important, how can we concretely put it into practice? How can we be kinder to ourselves and others on a daily basis?

Why Should I Be Kinder? 

It might seem selfish to ask this question, but it’s actually deeply important to remind ourselves why it’s so valuable to act out of kindness. There are no extra points awarded to those who act without motivation. Keeping in mind why we should be kind can help us be resilient when being kind isn’t easy. 

• To Strengthen Your Relationships. Being kind signals to both ourselves and others that we are a good person worth investing time, effort, and care into. When we act in kindness, and give our help in warmth and love, we build trust between ourselves and the people we love. If you seek to improve your relationships, kindness could be the answer.

• To Be Your Highest Self. When we act in kindness, we serve the interests of our highest self. There is an inlaid desire in all of us to be a kind and caring individual. By being kind, we can become spiritually in tune with our greatest dreams and goals.

• To Feel More Secure. The truth of the matter is that doing good feels good. Helping one another is an evolutionary advantage that’s been bred into us for millions of years. To give, share, and accept is to be human. If you struggle with imposter syndrome, or feelings of inadequacy, being kind could be your medicine.

How Can I Be Kinder To Myself and Others? 

Kindness can take many forms. It’s more than just a compliment spoken, a gift given, or a wrong forgiven. It’s a coping skill that we can learn, hone, and master. 

• Be Gentle. In the quest to practice kindness, it behooves you to speak with care and gentleness. Especially when we’re upset, it can be all too easy to speak out of anger and pain. Being gentle means being thoughtful of the way your words and actions can affect yourself and others. 

• Be Generous. Giving of yourself can seem taxing. If you’re deep in the struggle, it’s not going to be immediately obvious when or why you should be generous. But remember, being good feels good. When you pour the last of your cup into your friend’s cup, have faith that the waiter will bring you a refill, and take pride in being a giver.

• Be Compassionate. Generosity can be a powerful act, but generosity combined with intense attachment is a recipe for disappointment. Being compassionate means giving out of love without condition or expectation. You can be compassionate by expressing your love, listening with intention, and allowing yourself to forgive.

• Be Forgiving. But not just forgiving of others! Being forgiving means letting go of the anger and guilt in our past. This doesn’t mean forgetting the past, or neglecting your feelings so you can reach forgiveness. The desire to hold on to the past can be intense, and all-consuming, but by accessing your forgiveness, you can break free from the past and be kinder in the future.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – The 14th Dalai Lama

How Can I Be Nicer To Myself?

It might feel counter-intuitive, but fostering kindness for others begins with fostering kindness for yourself. If you really want to learn the art of kindness, the nicest thing you can do for yourself is learn from a professional.

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.