4 Ways To Self-Soothe With Touch

Can You Self-Soothe With Touch? 

Self-soothing with touch is a necessary skill that we all deserve to use freely, but we don’t always have the experience, knowhow, or wherewithal to utilize this important piece of our toolkit. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, trauma response, or depression, the right methods of self-soothing can make all the difference in the world. When your more conscious thoughtful strategies (like positive self-talk or intention setting) feel out of reach, consider it an opportunity to use your sensory experience as a coping tool. By getting comfortably in touch (pardon my pun) with your sense of touch, you can calm yourself down no matter how bleak things seem. 

“So she thoroughly taught him that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure, and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it.”

Herman Hesse, Siddhartha

Give Yourself Permission To Fidget 

Fidgeting (or stimming) are repetitive movements or behaviors that allow you to occupy your hands and also feel a certain amount of satisfaction. Especially for neurodivergent individuals, having a good set of fidget toys or other repetitive hand behaviors can be an excellent way to self-soothe with touch. To get you inspired, here are a few options: 

• Drumming out a beat with your fingertips on your phone case. 
• Playing with a fidget spinner. 
• Clicking a pen.
• Tending to your zen garden. 
• Zipping and unzipping your jacket zipper. 

Pet Your Animal Companion

There’s a reason people are generally closer with their dogs, cats, and birds than they are with their fish. They’re called pets, and that’s what they’re here for. One of the most powerful benefits of having a pet in your home is that you can engage in mutual self-soothing just by petting them! The next time you find yourself overwhelmed with anxiety, emotions, or both, try petting your animal! You can open up to them as much as you want, and they’ll listen. They might not understand, but they’ll listen. 

“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation, and almost as good as a prayer.” – Dean Koontz 

Physical Expressions of Love

Don’t let your pet be the only one getting in on the action! Whether you’re single or partnered, it’s a fundamental human need to reach out and make contact with others. This can look very different for different people, and there’s no one right way to embrace physical intimacy. It could be a tender hug from a friend, a held hand as you have a difficult conversation, or most obviously, a kiss from the person you love. Never underestimate the potential for physical outreach to soothe your senses. 

Dig Your Feet Into The Sand 

This can be highly situational, as not all of us are lucky enough to live in a place like St. Petersburg where beach access is just a quick drive away, but putting your bare feet in the sand can be a powerful source of self-soothing. To say nothing of the additional benefits that come from spending time at the beach! If getting to the ocean is fun and accessible to you, then I am empowering you to go there immediately! If anyone asks, it’s for your health. 

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Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.