How Your Inner Child Can Help You Enjoy The Holidays Again

It’s the holiday season, and sometimes that can make you feel like you need to talk with a therapist. After all, isn’t this a time to be happy? What does it mean if we feel disconnected from the holly jolly atmosphere that surrounds us? What’s the point of celebrating even when we’re depressed, anxious, or hurt? 

Just ask any department store Santa worth his salt: the holidays are for the children most of all. And if you ask me, I’ll tell you: If we don’t have empathy for our inner child, it can be hard to connect with the sentiments of the season. Depending on your perception of your childhood, reconnecting with that inner child might seem unappealing or even painful. But if we take care of our inner child, we can get back in touch with the starry eyed wonder and glee of childhood. 

“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmastime.” Laura Ingalls Wilder

Letting Your Inner Child Rejoice This Holiday Season

I’ll start with the good stuff. If you (and your inner child) are just roaring to go, there’s actually a lot you can do right now. These are some direct actions you can take to bring your inner child into the light this holiday season.

• Decorate Your Living Environment. One of the ways we can honor our inner child is by being creative, and holiday decorations are a festive way to express our creativity from the warmth and comfort of home. Whether it’s putting up the Christmas tree, displaying the menorah, hanging the mistletoe, or dusting off the inflatable Grinch display from the garage, the right decorations can inspire comfort, nostalgia, and even cheer. 
• Buy A Gift For A Literal Child. Seeing the holiday season through the eyes of a child can be enlightening. Seeing the way that kids revel in the lights, songs, and mythology of the holidays is probably the biggest reason we celebrate them as a species. Buying a gift for one of the children in your life is one of the most direct ways to look at the season through the perspective of your inner child. After all, if you were a child that age, what would you want for Christmas?
• Celebrate A Tradition You Actually Like. In childhood, tradition is something that’s often out of our control. The traditions celebrated by our families can sometimes be confusing, poorly explained, and unappealing to us, even as adults. But there are some traditions that bring us joy, or have brought us joy in the past. As adults, it is our responsibility to choose which traditions survive and which traditions are forgotten. 

How Do You Know If Your Inner Child Needs Healing?

To learn about your inner child, often the first place we look is the past. It makes sense. After all, any issues with our inner child certainly find their root in childhood. If we do not get to experience the necessary joys, sorrows, and lessons of childhood, we will struggle to learn the lessons of adulthood and old age. How can we look back on our childhoods to see the impact on our inner child in the present?

• Do you feel unprepared for or incapable of some adult responsibilities? 
  • What lessons from parents or teachers went unlearned for you? 
  • How did that affect your life? 
• What did others get to experience in childhood that you did not? 
  • What positive experiences did you miss out on? 
  • What negative experiences did you avoid? 
  • Were you encouraged to be creative? 
• Did you have responsibilities in childhood that were unrealistic for a child to complete? 
  • Were you responsible for the childcare of your younger siblings? 
  • Did you have freedom to play and socialize with others your age? 

How To Reconnect With Your Inner Child

We were all once children who felt and saw the world around them through a child’s eyes. It is this experience that made the space in which your inner child now lives. Whether or not we communicate with them or listen to them, they exist within us just as surely as our childhood exists in our past. If we’ve spent a long time ignoring or suppressing our inner child, it can be challenging to start listening. But it is a worthy challenge that many before you have attempted and succeeded. 

• Honor Your Inner Child. In adolescence, our inner child is made to take the backseat. We want to be adults so badly that we consign our childhood in the rearview mirror.
• Investigate Your Family Stories. Every family has stories that are passed down from parent to child, and I’m not just talking about fairy tales and nursery rhymes. For example, a parent might constantly talk about their fear that they will not be able to pay their bills. Children pay attention to the way that adults process the world around them, and they start telling stories to themselves that line up with the other stories they’ve heard. In adulthood, the child might constantly worry about making ends meet regardless of their financial situation. By taking a deeper look at our family stories, we can acknowledge them, and tell new ones that provide us with the emotional safety that we all deserve.  
• Learn From Failure Instead Of Being Defeated By It. Our mistakes are our greatest teachers. Failure can actually be a good thing, because often it is only through failure that we learn what we don’t want to happen, which gives us valuable information to go where we need to go. 

What Does A Therapist Do To Help You Heal Your Inner Child?

It’s natural to wonder why you might need or want a therapist to heal your inner child. A lot of this work is done on your own. Ultimately, you will be the one responsible for any progress you make in therapy or otherwise. However, it’s one thing to give yourself advice, and another thing to follow it. 

As a counselor myself, I can offer a unique perspective when it comes to the role of the therapist in healing the inner child. Working with a therapist can give you the guidance you need to heal your inner child and become the adult you wanted to be ever since you were a kid. 

• With A Therapist’s Guidance You Can Break Through Old Patterns. Human beings are creatures of habit. When we make the same mistakes over and over again, it is often the result of doing things the way we’ve always done them. In sessions, I can offer an alternative perspective and help my clients see through their old patterns of thinking. 
• The Right Therapist Can Put You In Touch With Your Highest Self. Human beings are also creatures of belief. Seeing a therapist or believing in science does not mean that you also need to abandon your sense of spirituality. In fact, spirituality is often one of our most powerful safeguards when it comes to anxiety, depression, and uncertainty. I offer my clients guidance in using hope, belief, and faith to improve the state of their mental health. 
• A Therapist Can Help You Address Your Generational Trauma. Human beings are not set in stone. The patterns of our families are challenging to shake and perplexing to understand, but they can be rewired with patience and wisdom. With the right guidance, you can break free of the painful narratives that have been passed down in your family, and I or another therapist can equip you with the tools to do just that. 

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Starting with a creative written voice and a BA in English from ASU, Alli Cravener has become so much more than Integrative Counsel’s voice! Not only is she a writer who is passionate about connecting concepts and content, Alli is also currently a grad student working towards her Master’s in Counseling. She is also the editor-in-chief, office manager, AND intake specialist at Integrative Counsel. When you call us, you’ll talk to Alli! Alli’s interests include painting, history, learning about other people, and wearing the color pink. She likens herself to a “mouse in a palm tree”, and she loves it that way.