“Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up, if thou wilt ever dig.” Marcus Aurelius
Valentine’s day is almost here- and so is the pressure. Oftentimes, we rely on our friends or partners for validation or to feel loved. When these relationships end, we feel unloved, wondering where we went wrong or if we could have tried harder. The love that you seek outside of yourself is love that you can find from within your own soul. Whether you are single or in some type of partnership, you can validate your own heart’s needs. Here’s how to do it.
Take yourself out on a real date
If you have ever taken a woman out on a date, you know that there are certain things you must do to make an impression on them. Do this for yourself! Take yourself out to that restaurant you have been wanting to try but haven’t had the chance to, a place that makes you feel like jumping up and down with excitement. Get dressed up and make an impression on yourself! Do something that excites you and makes you enjoy spending time with just yourself.
Buy yourself something that you don’t “need” but really want
There’s always that one thing that you really want, but feel like you have to justify in order to buy for yourself. Being your own valentine means making yourself feel special, and it is such a treat to make a special purchase. The good thing about buying your own Valentine’s day gift is that you know yourself better than anyone else, so you don’t need to worry about getting the wrong gift or vice versa. Knowing yourself well means knowing all the ways in which you can impress yourself.
Explore by yourself
Be curious. Find an interesting place that is in your area that you haven’t explored yet, and take yourself on an adventure. Be mindful of what you see, and really be grateful for the opportunity to be outside while breathing in the fresh air, and being one with nature. You don’t need a partner to go on adventures with when you enjoy spending time with yourself and discovering new things. If you feel like staying in rather than going out, you can throw on a nature documentary and give it your full attention so you really feel like you are right there. Be creative with your explorations!
Eat whatever you want
In order to be your own Valentine, you can’t restrict yourself. This is the time where you can really go all out and give yourself the meal that you would eat if you were on death row and it was your last. What meal makes you light up with joy? What meal makes you want to do a little dance? Indulge in that meal–and don’t guilt yourself! You’re trying to impress yourself, remember?
Look in the mirror and say positive affirmations
You can’t always rely on other people to tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes, you need to be the one to tell yourself how wonderful you are. A good self-love practice is to stand in front of the mirror, look into your eyes, and repeat these affirmations to yourself:
“I am gorgeous and unstoppable.”
“I love my beautiful and powerful body.”
“I find the good in everything.”
“I forgive myself for past mistakes”
“I will never stop loving myself no matter what.”
Part of being your own Valentine is treating yourself, and making yourself feel secure in knowing that you will always have your back. Be sure you remember to have a healthy balance between treating yourself and taking care of yourself. Ask yourself “what is one difficult thing I need to do that will make my life better?” and follow through with it.
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Alli Cravener is a social media coordinator and writer who is passionate about connecting people through words. Alli studied English at Arizona State University and has found her niche uniting concept and content in the realm of mental health and the expressive arts. Alli’s interests include painting, history, learning about other people, and wearing the color pink. She likens herself to a “mouse in a palm tree”, and she loves it that way.