How To Self-Soothe With All 5 Senses

Without the ability to self-soothe, our emotional trajectory will inevitably trend downwards. In an ideal world, we’d always feel great and we’d have no need to cultivate the skill of self-soothing. The reality is that there will always be events in our lives that upset, deter, trigger, or unravel us, and it’s our responsibility to know how to put the pieces back together.

So that answers why we self soothe, but there’s a lot of ambiguity when it comes to how. While it can look very different for different people, the simplest way to soothe yourself is through the strategic use of sensory experience. In other words, using all five senses to self-soothe. 

“You are the sky. Everything else—it’s just the weather.” Pema Chödrön

How Do You Self-Soothe With Touch? 

This one might be a touchy subject. Whether through trauma, neurodivergence, or inexperience, having a positive relationship with touch might not come naturally to you. It can be easy to get overstimulated through touch, but that’s exactly why self-soothing through touch can be so powerful. 

• Take A Walk Barefoot. Our shoes keep our feet safe, but they also limit our sensory experience. Take a trip to the beach, your backyard, or anywhere else you’re unlikely to step in broken glass or hypodermic needles. Slip off your shoes, and feel your feet sink into the earth.
• Pick Your Outfit For Comfort, Not Fashion. When we dress for style, we often wear articles of clothing that chafe at our comfort and wear away at our resilience. Something you can do to self-soothe is simply wearing something soft and comfortable. That means breaking out the big cozy t-shirts, the fuzzy pajama pants, and yes, even the unflattering but highly breathable and secure underwear.
• Comfortable Physical Contact. This one needs to be especially tailored to the individual using it. Petting a cat or dog, hugging a friend, or snuggling up on the couch with your partner can all help us regulate our emotions through touch. It’s up to you to experiment and determine which ones work best.

What Can You Do To Self-Soothe With Sound? 

The right soundtrack can make all the difference in the world. But until science progresses to the point where we all have the perfect soundscape digitally uploaded to our brains, it’s something we need to provide for ourselves. So how can you use sound to ease your troubles?

• Listen To Music You Love. The great thing about this one is how accessible it is. You could be doing chores, watching over your children, or flying 50,000 feet in the air. Whether you’re in a happy, mediocre, or terrible mood, music is appropriate, readily available and therapeutic in most situations. Just remember to download the album before the plane takes off! 
• Turn Everything Off And Appreciate The Silence. It’s tempting to always have a song, podcast, or audiobook playing, but the experience of listening to what’s in our earbuds can also be highly dissociative. Sometimes silence is better than anything you could put on. After all, just because it’s quiet that doesn’t mean there isn’t something to listen to. If you listen very closely and keep an open mind, you might even hear your own thoughts. 
• Pick Up An Instrument. The act of making noise can be extremely therapeutic. That’s why human beings invented these things called musical instruments. They allow us to make and listen to noise at will, and with much patience and practice, you might even make a noise that sounds pleasing to the ear.

How Can I Start Self-Soothing With Sight?

Ask your oldest surviving relative with prescription eyeglasses; most of us take our sense of sight for granted. In fact, experiencing the world through our eyes comes so naturally to us that it can be difficult to do it with purpose. So here are some examples: 

• Investigate Your Environment. Examine your immediate surroundings. You don’t have to be in a remarkable place to see something remarkable. How many living things are within sight? How many ugly things? How many beautiful things? Count them. Acknowledge them. Mindfully grow to understand the world around you 
• Look Your Loved Ones In The Eye. Just because it’s called self-soothing doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. One of our fundamental needs is to see and be seen by others. We want to accept and we want to be accepted. So the next time you’re interacting with the people close to you, give them your full attention. Put your phone to the side, mutually lock your gaze, and stand alongside your favorite people in comfortable acknowledgement.
• Go For A Mindful Walk. Outside is a beautiful place. There is likely something astounding, interesting, or beautiful you walk by every day without realizing. So disconnect your bluetooth headphones, take a step outside, and go find it. 

What’s The Secret To Self-Soothing With Scent?

Your sense of smell is a powerful gateway to emotion, memory, and inner peace. The right smell can mentally transport us across space and time to our most comforting scenarios with just a single whiff. So, what do we have to sniff if we want to self-soothe?

• Light A Candle Or Incense. We’ve been self-soothing through fire tending since before there were cities, agriculture, candles, or incense. Much like your ancestors tending the campfire, you’ll need to gather your supplies (candles and incense that smell good), take care of them (light them in a dry, nearby place), and breathe in the benefits. 
• Know When It’s Time To Make Soup. I know what you’re thinking: “You can’t fool me. Soup is something you eat. You’re supposed to be teaching me how to self-soothe with smell!” And that’s why I’m telling you to make soup. Cooking a soup is a highly sniffable experience, with exciting smells being added and combined with each new ingredient. And here’s the best part, when it’s done, your kitchen smells delicious and you also get to eat the soup.
• Take A Bath. I say bath, but a shower can be just as soothing depending on your preference. The important thing is that there’s water and soap involved. Taking a bath not only smells good in the moment, it allows us to escape the embarrassing experience of sniffing our own armpit and disliking what we find. 

How Can You Self-Soothe With Taste? 

For me, my sense of taste is something I find myself swinging the pendulum back and forth with. It’s unhealthy to use eating as a coping tool to shove down our emotions, but it’s also unhealthy to joylessly fulfill our quota for nutrition with foods we don’t care for. So if eating more than six candy bars in one sitting gives us a stomach ache, and restricting our diet gives us heartache, what’s the right way to self-soothe with taste?

• Mindful Eating. Eating is not an escape from our lives, it’s a vital piece of them. Eating mindfully means acknowledging, accepting, and experiencing our food without distraction, rush, or dissociation. That means slowing down, turning off the TV (or cellphone, or computer), and giving our meal our complete attention.
• Eat (At Least) Three Meals A Day. I have done a lot of work on my relationship with food in my life, and I’d like to share with you a piece of hard-won wisdom: Human beings were not meant to skip breakfast. Eating regularly is an act of self-soothing we can (and should!) partake in every day.
• Always Keep A Little Treat Within Reach. We all have a little treat of choice. I don’t have to give examples for you to know what yours is. Consider this your sign that you deserve to keep it stocked in your house. These little treats make us happy, and that’s something that never has to be in short supply.

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.