How To Treat Yourself Like A Friend

Humans need love the same way we need warmth, food, water, and shelter. When we’re young, sometimes we can get by relying on others for our needs. We might rely on our parents for food and shelter, we may lean on our partners for love and affection, but ultimately it’s not reasonable (or possible) to get all things at all times from others. Gaining the privilege of adulthood means accepting the responsibility of self-care. That means giving to yourself that which you expect to receive from your friends and loved ones.

Going to therapy can teach us a lot of things, but is self-love one of them? What does it mean to be a friend to yourself? How can we give ourselves the love and care we need in a way that feels authentic and truthful to us?

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” – C. G. Jung

Self-Love Is Something We Can Learn From The Right Counselor 

As human beings, we are only equipped to learn based on what we see around us. If we didn’t see our role models practice self-love, then there was no space for us to learn a healthy sense of self-esteem. We are not at fault for the environment in which we were raised, but as adults, we are responsible for loving and taking care of ourselves.

Counseling offers a supportive space to uncover the roots of self-doubt and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself. With the right guide, we can unlock our inner confidence; not by changing who you are, but by helping you see and value yourself more clearly.

How Can You Be Kinder To Yourself?

Just like we care for our physical health, we also need to tend to our inner dialogue and self-expectations. Start by noticing the way you speak to yourself, especially in moments of stress or failure. Would you say those same words to a close friend? Probably not. Being kinder to yourself means practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries that honor your energy, and allowing rest without guilt. It also means acknowledging your efforts, not just your outcomes.

• Do Yourself Favors As You Would For Your Loved Ones. It can be harder to do things for yourself than it is to do them for anybody else, especially if you’re coping with depression. That’s why it can be helpful to step back and think about ourselves as if we were someone else that we cared for. If you were staying with a close friend or family member, what would you be willing to do for them? Would you do the dishes? Could you be patient with them if they made a mistake? Would you comfort them if they were upset? If you can imagine doing these things for someone else, then it’s perfectly within your capability to do them for yourself. 
• Embracing The Power Of Gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful tool for reshaping how we experience the world and ourselves. If we practice gratitude, we can cherish that which makes our lives simpler and easier and find the silver lining in that which makes our lives more complicated. You can embrace your gratitude by writing a gratitude list. This isn’t a magic wand that will erase all your problems and make everything better, but it can help you shift your mindset towards what is going good in your life vs what is going bad in your life.
• Love Yourself (Even When It Feels Impossible). In the hardest of times, self-love can feel perilously out of reach. Grief, trauma, and hardship can wear away at our hard-won cornerstones of confidence. But it’s in these hard times that our acts of self-love are most important. It is through our self-love and our self-care that we foster our sense of resilience and find the strength to pick ourselves up when we’re knocked down. 

“It’s a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There’s no escaping that. But if you are grateful for your life, then you have to be grateful for all of it.” – Stephen Colbert

How Therapy Helps You Befriend Your Body

When we begin to treat ourselves with compassion and respect, we start listening more closely to what our bodies are trying to tell us. Instead of pushing through discomfort or ignoring signals of overwhelm, self-love invites us to pause, care, and respond with tenderness.

Working with the right therapist can hone your skills of self-care and unlock new methods of being and doing. This shift in relationship, with ourselves and our bodies, can ease our tension, relieve our long-term stress, and let go of the pain that lives in our bodies.

• Therapy Gives You Grounding Tools To Self-Soothe. One of the most empowering aspects of therapy is learning how to calm your nervous system when life feels overwhelming. Your therapist does more than just calm you down in emergencies or when you have an appointment, they give you the tools to ground yourself and make thoughtful decisions even in moments of crisis. It is within the safety of your therapist’s office that you practice how to cope so that when you are dealing with hardship, you already know what to do for yourself. 
• Avoiding Burnout With Help From Your Therapist. When we’re busy handling everything, it can be downright devastating to try and handle anything else. That’s why burnout is so important to treat. The right therapist can help you reconnect with your limits, rest when you need it, and challenge the perfectionism that contributes to your sense of burnout. What beliefs do you have about the world that were passed down to you that make it difficult for you to rest? A good therapist will help you unlearn the beliefs that cause you to crack the whip over your back so that you can better balance your work with rest and play. 
• Therapy Helps Us To Forgive (And Be Forgiven). Resentment lives in our bodies just like trauma does. Therapy can help us unpack that resentment and find forgiveness for ourselves and others. Through this process, we begin to understand the wounds behind the harm, which creates space for compassion and release. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing; it means choosing healing over punishment.

St. Petersburg Therapy For Low Self-Esteem

When you don’t feel secure in your authentic self, life feels more difficult. You might project your insecurities onto others, or hide yourself away because you are afraid people will see you and judge you the way you see and judge yourself.  You might avoid taking meaningful risks that will better your life because you don’t feel good enough. With a therapist like Alli Cravener, you can start to practice seeing yourself with more accuracy. You can examine the beliefs that hold you back, and listen with compassion to all parts of you, even the ones you deem ugly or undesirable. We all have shadows. If we reject the shadowy aspect of ourselves, we will never be able to fully accept our light. Alli helps individual face their shadows, accept all parts of themselves, whether that be through traditional talk therapy, creative arts techniques, or somatic techniques, she will work with you to co-create a treatment plan that works best for you.

Addressing and facing your insecurities will help your authentic, inner light emerge.

Click here to schedule a consultation with Alli.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.