We all need to communicate. In order to forge friendships, maintain relationships, and deepen your bond with others, it’s necessary to effectively communicate. Learning how to both explain what’s on your mind while also deeply listening to others can be a tremendous challenge. But the good news is, humans have been learning how to communicate (From scratch!) for thousands of years. It’s just a matter of learning how. 

How Do I Need To Communicate?

It can be a challenge managing our tone when we talk with others. For many, the social cues for acceptable behavior might not be obvious. When we’re communicating with others, it behooves us to keep a few things in mind: 

• Managing our body language. Our body language tells more than half the story when we communicate. 
• Managing our tone. When it comes to the way others perceived us, how we say something is more important than what we’re saying. 
• Managing our attention. We can only expect others to listen if we show them the same courtesy. 

“In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” – Matthew, 7:12.

How Can I Communicate Better? 

Once we’ve recognized that our communication has room for improvement, we can start to build a repertoire of tools and ideas to keep us on the right track. How can we model good behavior for the people around us? What are the hallmarks of good communication? 

• Empathy, and empathic listening. When we put in the effort to understand one another’s feelings, we come to a greater understanding of each other.
• Recognize your role models. Ever since we were infants, we were taught to model our behavior after the figures of authority in our lives. Think about the way your parents and teachers communicated with you. How did they get through to you? Where did they fail to communicate effectively?

• Express your needs. When we were kids, our caretakers are supposed to advocate for us. As an adult, you need to be your own advocate. But

What Can I Do When I Struggle To Communicate?

During a heated moment, it can be tempting to give in to our emotions and forgo even the things we already know about effective communication. This is not (as some intrusive thoughts might have you believe) a sign that we should stop trying or that it’s not worth it. However, this might be a sign that we need to learn a few things. What are some tools we can reach for if we struggle to communicate?

• DEAR MAN. This time honored DBT skill is made for helping us ask for our needs in a way that is respectful of both ourselves and others. 

• Manage your attitude. Sometimes our greatest obstacle is ourselves. In order to be a good communicator, it’s often necessary to recognize and recover when we’re in a bad mood.

• Get in touch with your body. When we’re struggling to Our minds and our bodies are more connected than you might think!

How Can I Express That I Need More Communication?

Let’s say we’re putting all of the above into practice, and we still don’t get the results we want. Even if we ignore the challenge presented to our ego presented by the need to rely on others, asking for what we need can be a challenge all by itself. But, like it or not, communication is a two-way street. If we’re trying to communicate with somebody who isn’t matching our effort, it’s going to inevitably make us frustrated. if we want to be an effective communicator, it’s absolutely necessary to learn the splendid art of respectfully asking for stuff, and that includes asking for better communication.

Where Can I Learn To Communicate Better? 

Mastering how to express yourself and listen with intention is a lifelong project. You can learn how to communicate (through both positive and negative examples) by participating in your relationships with others. But if you really want to learn from an expert, then your best option is to work with a professional.

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.