I’m Scared of Going to Therapy

Therapy can have a prominent role in our lives. It helps us navigate deep-seated issues, which can take up a lot of mental space. This can be positive when it leads to valuable insights outside of sessions. On the flip side, it might also bring up anxiety or fear about the therapy process itself.

Maybe you’re thinking about seeing a therapist for the first time. Maybe you’ve already booked an appointment. Perhaps you’ve seen a therapist in the past and weren’t happy with your results. Whatever the reason, you find yourself fearing the prospect of therapy. 

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Is It Normal To Be Scared Before Therapy? 

Whether our prior experiences with therapy are positive, negative, or non-existent, it’s perfectly normal to feel afraid beforehand. Therapy is hard work, meeting with a new therapist can be nerve-wracking, and our past experiences can leave us afraid of future ones. 

Therapy can involve unpacking our most uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and assumptions, so many clients can find themselves in a situation where they dread going to therapy, even if they have a great therapist that they otherwise trust. It’s normal to feel afraid sometimes, but it’s also something worth exploring for your own sake. Ask yourself the following questions: 

• What Do I Think Therapy Will Be Like? We often go into therapy with a lot of preconceived ideas about what it will be like. If we haven’t been to therapy before, we’ll be relying on movies, books, and television to get our picture of therapy, and if we have been to therapy before, our past experiences are inevitably going to color our perception of going to therapy in the future. But often these assumptions are just expressions of our desire to not be hurt or taken advantage of rather than a factual reality of going to therapy. 
• Is There A Moment In My Past I’m Afraid Of Reliving? If we’re dealing with trauma (and who among us can say they aren’t?) then the prospect of revisiting that trauma in a therapy session can feel overwhelming. And one of the things that therapy is really good for (famously so) is unpacking traumatic experiences, so it’s a reasonable assumption that you’d be doing something like that in a therapy session. In reality, although your therapist may walk you through some of your past traumatic experiences, they should be doing so in a way where you are empowered rather than re-traumatized It is important that you are able to know how to regulate your nervous system before diving into your trauma, which your therapist will teach you. Although the work itself is, at times, exhausting, the end result is accepting and moving past what you’ve been running from. 
• What Might Be Different About My Situation Now? The events of our past were the result of our past circumstances. Although our prior experiences may inform our present in many ways, the passing of time can change our circumstances in profound ways. How much of what you’re fearing was the result of your past circumstances? How have you changed since then that might impact your outcome?

“Bran thought about it. Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid? ‘That is the only time a man can be brave,’ his father told him.” George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones

How To Overcome Anxiety About Going To Therapy

• Cope With Your Anxiety In The Moment. Unmanaged anxiety can make mountains out of molehills and monsters out of mountains. Even if it doesn’t alleviate your fear, using some of your coping tools to deal with your anxiety will make taking the next step into a believable plot development. 
• Explore The Family Story Around Going To Therapy. Our beliefs around therapy are not often ones we made through careful critical thinking. Exploring your family’s attitudes around therapy and seeking help in general can help to illuminate your fears like nothing else could. Therapy offers us a safe space to challenge the stories our families told us about the world and tell ourselves new stories that support and encourage us. 
• Work With A Virtual Therapist. If you’re afraid to see a therapist in person, then this could be your best option. Working with a therapist online can give you the benefits of seeing a therapist in person while also giving you the opportunity to rely on the comforts of home. 

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.  The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” Helen Keller

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.