How To Be A Supportive Friend

Friendship is more than just a type of relationship, it’s also a skill. In order to receive the sort of friendships you want to have, oftentimes we must first learn how to be that kind of friend to others. If we haven’t cultivated the skill of friendship, the ordeal of learning can appear overwhelming. But being a supportive friend always pays off in the long run, both for yourself and for the people you love. 

What Does Support Look Like In Friendships? 

As human beings, we’ve all had friendships that were not as supportive as we’d have liked them to be. It’s all too easy to come up with examples of unsupportive friendships. Our caretakers are not always the best example when it comes to making and maintaining friendships. So how do we recognize what a supportive friendship really looks like? And more importantly, how do we behave in a way that supports our friends?

• Actively Listen To Them. Active Listening is a DBT skill that can make being a supportive friend that much easier. By leveling up your ability to listen, you can better understand your friends’ challenges and needs.
• Communicate! A good friendship is more than just listening. There needs to be a two way dialogue. That means speaking up with good advice when you see your friends going down a dangerous or unhappy path, but it also means encouraging your friends when you see them succeeding.
• Know Their Love Language. We all have preferred ways of loving and being loved. By understanding which love languages your friends favor, you can offer the right kind of support at the right time. You can also feel more supported yourself in knowing why they express their affection in the ways that they do. 

How Do You Become A Supportive Friend?

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Consistently being a good friend means more than just being kind to others; you must also show that compassion for yourself. In the haze of our ego, we consider ourselves beneath our own help. Surely there are people more deserving of our time, attention, and affection. But in reality, when we deprive ourselves of compassion, we merely shift that burden onto someone else. Nobody wants to receive help from someone who themselves is wallowing in despair and clearly in need of help. So how can we fill our own cup such that it overflows into the cups of our friends and loved ones? 

• Speak Kindly To Yourself. The way we talk to ourselves has a huge effect on the way we talk to the people around us. We set the tone for how we interact with the world, and it all starts with the way we choose to interact with ourselves. This can damage our relationships without us even realizing it. After all, if you are unkind to yourself by default, why would you treat your friends any different?
• Start Taking Care Of Yourself. Self-care is one of those things like getting your oil changed or eating healthy food. You can technically go without it, but eventually there will be consequences. By taking care of yourself, you can find the strength to care for others too. 
• Try Expansive Therapies. Talk therapy is not your only option for mental health treatment, especially in St. Petersburg. Expansive therapies like art therapy, somatic therapy, and ketamine assisted psychotherapy can expand your worldview and help you to make changes in your behavior as a human being and as a friend. 

Where Can I Get Therapy To Help Me Become A Better Friend?

While therapy typically focuses on your own personal growth, it can also be a valuable tool to strengthen your friendships. Therapists can provide a safe space to explore any challenges you might be facing in your relationships, like communication difficulties or setting boundaries. They can help you develop skills like active listening and empathy, which are crucial for strong bonds.

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.