Feeling (Un)Lucky? How to Deal When Life Feels Unfair

Some things just don’t go our way. And sometimes they just continue to not go our way for such a long time that it may start to feel like things have never gone our way before and never will again. It’s our responsibility to maintain hope in the presence of fate’s uncertainty. So when fortune doesn’t favor you (and there’s no avoiding that), then it’s something you need to attend to and cope with.

The wheel of fortune is always spinning around. Whether you’re riding high at the top, or wallowing in misfortune at the bottom, it behooves us to be aware of the nature of fate. Nothing goes the same way forever, and all we can do is make the most of what we have.

“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.” – Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

What Does Depression Treatment Look Like For Unlucky People? 

The best treatment for misfortune-induced depression is a well-curated toolkit of coping skills. These tools are to depression what stretching and physical therapy are to an injured muscle: painful discomfort in exchange for long-term relief. I already know there’s part of you that’s thinking: “That sounds difficult and I don’t want to.” 

It’s tempting to curse our luck and accept the accompanying depression that comes from being fate’s tired plaything. It can even feel a little gratifying the first nine or ten times that you do it. But when you’re ready to give up on hopelessness, this is how you fight depression in the face of misfortune:

• Hard Work And Exercise. Our bodies evolved to ceaselessly hunt, gather, and tire themselves to physical exhaustion daily. I don’t like that it’s true, but there’s no getting around it. Hard work and exercise are some of the most stunningly effective treatments for depression we have. Physical exertion burns off stress hormones, stabilizes sleep, and reminds the nervous system that the body is capable of action.
• Eating Well And Often. Much has been said about the impacts of nutrition on mental health, but the core principle is simple: your brain cannot regulate mood if it doesn’t have the fuel to do so. When we’re depressed, we often eat irregularly or rely on quick comfort foods that create energy crashes. Regular meals with protein, fiber, and healthy fats help stabilize blood sugar and support the brain chemistry that regulates mood. We cannot afford to be perfect, and even in our deepest strivings we couldn’t be, but taking the effort to consistently eat a little healthier and a little more often can make a huge difference.
• Socializing Even When We’re Tired.  It is the nature of depression to recede and withdraw when we feel low. Unfortunately, it is in that withdrawn loneliness that depression can most thoroughly overwhelm us. Human beings are social animals who regulate their emotions through connection, whether that’s wearing a brave face when they’re scared or carrying the torch of hope for the tribe even when they themselves feel hopeless and lost. You don’t have to go to that big loud party if you really don’t want to. But being around the right people can help you feel as brave, strong, and hopeful as you need to be.

• Changing Our Schedule To Suit Our Psychology. Depression thrives in empty time and chaotic routines. Getting on a regular sleep schedule, eating at the same times each day, and knowing what we’re doing ahead of time are all important and effective treatments when it comes to facing our depression. A predictable routine can act like scaffolding for a struggling mind, supporting us until our internal motivation returns.

How Does A Therapist Offer Anxiety Relief For Feeling Out of Control? 

When we’ve had a string of bad luck, feeling out of control is a natural response. But when it comes to anxiety treatment, feeling out of control is something we need to carefully manage. When we believe our decisions have no consequences, we are apt to make ill-thought decisions with unforeseen but catastrophic consequences. 

Therapy doesn’t pretend that life is always fair or predictable. Instead, it helps us regain the sense that we still have influence over our lives, even when circumstances are difficult.

• Therapy Teaches Us How To Interrupt Anxious Thoughts. It’s easy to view our internal voice as a fixed part of ourselves. It makes sense. After all, the voice is coming from inside your own head. Where we run into problems is when our internal monologue starts saying things that demotivate and destabilize us. That’s when we need to draw the distinction between the voice that’s speaking our internal thoughts, and the observer who is responsible for our conscious thought. 
• Your Therapist Can Help You See When You’re Blowing Things Out Of Proportion. When we’re anxious, our brains are constantly scanning for danger. Unfortunately, this survival instinct can make small problems feel like looming disasters. Therapy can give you the tools to discern which worries are worth entertaining, and which are just catastrophized inflations born from anxiety.

• In Therapy, We Learn How To Cope With The Problems We Can’t Fix. Some problems are not fixed or escaped from. In fact, some problems can’t be fixed or escaped from. At least not by us, right now. Some problems are meant to be endured, and that means a whole lot of coping, potentially for a long time. When we give ourselves permission to accept the things we cannot change, we can forgive ourselves for that which we are not capable of and shed the anxiety that we should have done more.

Can Therapy Make You The Master Of Your Own Fate?

When you’re working with the right therapist, they help you to be the best version of your authentic self. That means working towards a better future, even when things feel luckless and bleak. 

It’s challenging to keep the big picture in mind when we’re shuffling through the fog of mental illness. Without the right guide, we make uninformed mistakes and learn untrue truths afterwards. So how can therapy help us to make the right decisions in uncertain situations and take away the right lessons afterwards?

• Depression Treatment Can Unlock Your Potential. You are more capable than you think you are. Depression shrinks our sense of possibility. The right therapist can broaden it.
• Therapy Can Offer Anxiety Relief For Your Future. You are less doomed than you think you are. Anxiety tells us that disaster is looming around every corner. The right therapist teaches us how to prepare for disaster and success in equal reasonable measure.
• Grief Counseling Is A Chance At Freedom. There is more hope in you than you realize. When we lose something important, our grief is how we process our love for something we can no longer reach out and touch. The right therapist can help us to channel our grief into a greater love for the world that keeps spinning around us.

Therapy doesn’t give anyone total control over fate. Life will always contain uncertainty, chance, and unexpected hardship. What therapy can do is help you respond to those challenges with wisdom, resilience, and clarity. That means having the courage to shape your path how you can, even though you can’t control everything.

What Does Leadership Coaching From A Counselor Look Like? 

Some therapists are more than just mental health experts; they’re guides and mentors who can help you embrace your potential even when the whims of fate leave that potential uncertain. Leadership coaching from Integrative Counsel can bring your professional potential into full relief.

After all, when our psychological needs are met and treated with dignity and care, we can operate to our highest potential and accomplish more than we realize. You can not only become a better leader professionally, but a leader within your own personal life, too. 

If you’re feeling stuck on your healing journey, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Our intake specialist will take the time to understand your needs and connect you with a therapist who is the right fit. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.