How A Therapist Found Strength In His Vulnerability

Vulnerability is something a lot of men have to work on when they go to therapy. We live in a culture that encourages men to hide and ignore their vulnerabilities, so when they finally unmask themselves to their partner or therapist, it can feel threatening. Working with a counselor who understands can make all the difference in the world.

Michael Anthony is a St. Petersburg counselor who specializes in helping men embrace and find the strength in their vulnerability. But you don’t have to take my word for it, let’s hear it from him:

How Does A Therapist Embrace Their Vulnerability?

“Even before I began my journey of schooling to be a therapist, I had trouble with being vulnerable.  The pressure of being the best I could be to my friends and family, being the oldest sibling of 4, the common conception was that I needed to put my own feelings aside in order to do the highest good and put myself last.  This caused me to go down destructive paths of parties and isolation in order to feel better about who I was inside.  I eventually found my way into the martial arts, and found that it was a great space for me to connect with my mind and body, and through practice, I learned what vulnerability can look like.  There is a term called “The Teacher Complex” where, when in a sparring setting, you are afraid to attack knowing that the teacher you are against will most certainly ‘win’ the altercation.  This means being ok with being hit, and ok asking for feedback and assistance where you need it most.  The more I leaned into putting pride aside and opened myself up to learning, the more I felt ok being vulnerable.  I felt confident in starting my schooling and eventually got to a point where I was able to recognize areas where I needed help and was able to find it for myself.  Although I am a therapist, I am not ashamed to say that I attend my own therapy and through this vulnerable action, I have learned the roots of where my insecurity comes from and have been taking steps to actually work on them.  Vulnerability can be great and important for self growth, so I encourage you to practice even if it is just saying something personal maybe a friend does not know about!” – Michael Anthony, LCSW

• Therapy For Men Exploring Vulnerability. Many men are hesitant to expose their vulnerabilities to others, even in therapy. When we’re closed off like this, even if we have a desire to seek out support, we might not feel comfortable asking. A therapist like Michael can teach you how to work through your discomfort around vulnerability in safe therapeutic environment. It can feel frightening and new to take this radical step, but when we’re open about our vulnerabilities to the right people, it helps to keep us safe.
• Couples Therapy For The Intimacy Avoidant. Many couples seek out couples counseling because they lack the intimacy that comes with vulnerability. After all, what could be more intimate than exposing your weaknesses to one another? Although we may fear how we are perceived, the alternative is often not being known at all by the people we care for the most.
• Therapy To Stay Grounded When We Feel Vulnerable. Vulnerability can make us feel very intense feelings, so it’s important to know how to stay grounded while we process those feelings. Vulnerability is not a binary choice where we either suppress our weaknesses or expose them to certain injury. Being authentically vulnerable is a balancing act, where we have the opportunity to act in authenticity and wisdom at the same time. 

Is Integrative Counsel Covered By My Insurance? 

Integrative Counsel accepts Aetna, Cigna, and Optum health insurance, but if you call and schedule a consultation with us, we are happy to connect you with a therapist who accepts whatever plan you have. 

Money is increasingly a vulnerability factor in all of our lives, so it’s important to find a therapist who fits your financial circumstances almost as much as they need to fit your psychological circumstances. We’re honored to help you along that journey.

• Aetna Therapy For Men. If you have health insurance from Aetna, you’re in the right place! Our team is covered by your insurance, and here to offer you quality therapy for the men in your life that’s also covered by your insurance.
• Optum Therapy For Men. Finding counseling that fits in your lifestyle can be quite the journey, but Integrative Counsel is here to help you at every step of the way. If you’re covered by Optum Oscar, Optum Oxford, or United Optum, we can match you with a right-fit counselor who’s covered by your plan.

Is It Harder For Men To Be Vulnerable In Therapy? 

Men are encouraged to be proactive, protective, productive, and sometimes angry, but never vulnerable. In male peer groups, vulnerability is often weeded out through a process of hazing that begins in early childhood. Many of us just don’t have experience being vulnerable without also being mocked, ignored, or even exploited, sometimes by parents, teachers, and close friends. 

So what can a man do to feel safe when they need to be vulnerable?

• Explore His Relationship To Masculinity. These peer-to-peer hazing rituals are unfortunately tied into our perception of what manhood even is. Even if we perform masculinity perfectly, we are indoctrinated into fear when we see how the men who don’t play into the act are treated. If a man does not fit the narrow unfeeling definition of manhood that has been imprinted onto us, we’ve seen other men (our fathers, our coaches, our peers) question whether they’re even men at all. This untenable relationship between masculinity and our feelings is one of the most vulnerable (and powerful!) things men can explore in therapy.
• Learn How To Support Others In Their Vulnerability. It can be enlightening for the vulnerability-averse to support others when they are vulnerable. Often we judge ourselves far more than we would judge others even when all else is equal. Being supportive to the vulnerable can give you empathetic insight into what it really means to open up (and how kind people can be when you do).
• Accept Our Failures and Weaknesses. As men, we are taught that failure and weakness are some of the worst things that could possibly happen to you. But when we are radically vulnerable and open about what we need to work on, we can become more intelligent, effective, and happy than we ever were in victory.

Keeping St. Pete Weird And Well For Mental Health Awareness Month

Michael gave a compelling talk on vulnerability and masculinity at our Keep St Pete Weird and Well event earlier this May. He encouraged us all to dig deeper into our feelings and express ourselves openly to the people we love, just as he does for his many clients!

We created this event in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month. Our vibrant and weird wellness community came together for a day dedicated to healing, education, and connection. People enjoyed free ear seeds, donation-based massages, astrology readings, chiropractic adjustments, Qi Gong , and more! We are grateful to everyone who participated, whether by sharing their gifts, volunteering their time, or simply showing up with an open heart and mind.

How Therapy For Men Makes A Difference

Working with a therapist like Michael who understands the emotional terrain men are navigating can be a game-changer. Therapy helps men unlearn shame around being vulnerable, explore their identity beyond rigid norms, and embrace the full spectrum of their emotions. This work ripples outward. As men become more in tune with themselves, they become more present with their partners, more connected with their children, and more supportive to their communities. Vulnerability becomes a bridge to a fuller, more meaningful life. Therapy for men does make a difference.

Ready to get started? Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.