Self Compassion When You Are Angry

We all need a little self compassion. Anger is a necessary emotion. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel our anger, it will build deep within us like a tumor of the soul. However, when we let our anger take the wheel, the results are often undesirable. The black storm clouds of anger can impair our judgment to the point that we no longer properly take care of ourselves. Here are some well-worn pieces of wisdom to return to when the storm clouds start to feel oppressive. 

Self-Soothe Anger Through Mindfulness

When anger runs at its highest temperature, we can become completely removed from the world around us. In order to understand our anger, we have to look beyond our anger, and into the present moment with self compassion. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing your attention to what is happening right now. We can be mindful by engaging sensorily with the world around us. If you’re looking to self soothe through mindfulness, you could listen to a meditation, or observe the world around you with all of your senses (taste, touch, sight, smell, sound, etc.). The point is to remind yourself of your existence in the present moment. 

Get In Touch With Your Body

Your anger can be felt not only through your thoughts, but also through the sensations of your body. When anger gets your blood pumping, and your cortisol spiking, it is an uphill battle to reach a place of calm. To cope with your anger, you must utilize the connection between your mind and body, and the simplest way to do that is to cope with your anger through exercise. To practice getting in touch with your body, it could be as intricate as doing a yoga flow or as simple as running up and down a few flights of stairs. 

Empathize With Those Who Anger You

In the throes of anger, it is tempting to close ourselves off to our empathy. Either through the intensity of our feelings, or our own choice to turn away from empathizing with the object of our anger, we deprive ourselves of a vital coping tool. Especially when our anger is directed at somebody we care for. By empathizing with the object of our anger, we zoom out from the torrentially intense world of our own emotions, and can better guide ourselves to a place of healing. If you’re looking to take actionable steps to empathize with those who anger you, you could start by picturing them as a child, and working out why that child might be acting the way that they are. This process requires you to let go of your old perspective and embrace a new one.

Forgive Yourself

Oftentimes when we’re in the process of feeling our anger, we come to a point where the biggest target of our anger is ourselves. When we remove the shroud of anger, the reality we’re exposed to might discomfort us, prove us wrong, or make us reconsider our actions. In remorse, it is all too easy to cast yourself as a villain, but this form of coping more often than not presents itself as self-flagellation rather than self-knowledge. After all, our self-hatred is our self-pity wearing different clothes. You can start forgiving yourself by making amends where possible for your past actions, making compassionate choices in the present, and by giving yourself permission to fail without judgment. 

Words of Wisdom from our registered intern, Michael:

“When I am feeling angry,  I remind myself that anger is a feeling that passes just as much as a good feeling will pass. The  amount of anger I feel is because of how much energy I CHOOSE to attach to the feeling!”

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.