4 Actually Effective Self Love Activities

What do therapists recommend for people who struggle with self-love? Counseling can help, but we’d like to help you here and now. Self-love something that’s in short supply far too often. Without it, self-care becomes an unimportant distraction, and our standards reach gutter and storm drain levels. 

Your brain is a self-perpetuating organism. Self-love is perhaps its most effective tool of self-preservation. Although self-love may not come as naturally to us as something like eating or breathing, it is just as necessary. So what can we do to cultivate and act on our sense of self-love?

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” – George Bernard Shaw

How Does A Trauma Therapist Work On Self-Love?

“Self-love and self-care have been harnessed by the engine of capitalism into catchphrases to sell us more things or activities. Eat that chocolate or have a spa day. Sometimes self-love activities mean showing up for oneself by doing hard things; but not out of a sense of obligation or guilt. Waking up early to journal, meditate, ground in nature, hit the gym, do a hot yoga class, or even to fold laundry that has been sitting in the dryer for 3 days; is not always an easy feat in our increasingly over-stimulated busy lives. Finding the drive because one knows they will feel better afterwards, their future self-will thank them, or to show gratitude for their bodily vessel is quite different than being motivated by “shoulds”, “have to” or “musts”. 

Engaging in self-love activities that actually foster self-love, rather than what we believe self-love should look like, demands we develop a clear relationship with ourselves. Without clarity, or from a place of obligation, we invite internal battles which only create more discord rather than the harmony we seek. Taking a few minutes to meditate, go inwards, pray, or gratitude journal are good ways to gain clarity. See if you can find sparks of motivation because you want to feel better rather than you “should” be doing that every day. Try to develop a gratitude based positive drive based on a commitment to feel better for 2-5 minutes a couple of days per week rather than a rigid daily schedule. Also try to avoid falling into a trap of consumerism, over-consumption, or over-indulgence under the illusion of self-love. That trap of “self-love” may lead to a quick dopamine hit; but lacks the depth and longevity that building a positively focused routine built around internal clarity can foster. In my experience, this is a practice. A messy one at that. So practice gentleness with yourself. That in itself is a true self-love activity.“ – Lauren Mishkin, MS, LMHC.

• Learn How To Self-Soothe. A therapist like Lauren can help you build up your toolkit so you have something to reach for when you’re overworked and overwhelmed by a system that’s out of your control. Self-soothing can make the best of even the most hopeless of situations.
• Earn (And Give) Forgiveness. The right counselor can help you let go of (and even forgive) whatever’s in your past. The human brain is capable of radical change when given the right circumstances, and you are no exception.
• Befriend Your Body. Our mind and body are deeply connected. Counselors like Lauren understand that our deepest traumas live deep in our body, and help their patients  work through that trauma in a safe environment.
• Book With A Trauma Therapist. When you want something done well, you look for a professional. Lauren Mishkin is a trauma therapist in St. Petersburg who gives her patients all the tools they need to find freedom from their past.

What Are Good Therapeutic Activities For Men?

“Self-love is an important way for us to feel balanced in a world that is constantly trying to get our attention and energy.  If we find ourselves feeling burnout and caught up with the demands of everyday life, we can feel drained and disconnected from our sense of self!  It is in these moments where it is important to check in with where we find self-love, and here is a little about my favorite personal activity!

As some of my clients know, I am very immersed in the world of Tai Chi and martial arts and like to use some of the philosophies in our sessions.  I teach classes every Saturday, and the movement and internal awareness practice can be done on your own and is a great way to connect with what your body and mind are trying to tell you.  Daily martial arts practice teaches us to be in tune with internal sensations and stagnation which we may feel when experiencing things like depression and anxiety.

The movements incorporated within Tai Chi and martial arts consist of repetitive motions that connect mind, body and breath.  When we feel a blockage of energy that can be brought on by external forces, we tend to notice things like collapsed shoulders, disconnection of the hips, or other physical sensations.  By practicing your inner awareness, you can move your body into positioning that you feel when feeling great, such as opening your chest or feeling your connection to the earth.  The incorporation of intention and breath is also a great way to feel grounded and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, making this my favorite self-love activity!” – Michael Anthony, LCSW. 

• Embrace Tenderness, Reject Toxicity. Toxic masculinity can negatively impact your self-worth, relationships, and even career! Although men are taught to be simultaneously emotionless, and also angry (funny how that works), a therapist like Michael can help you get in touch with your full spectrum of emotions.
• Work On Your Discomfort Around Therapy. Many men are uncomfortable with the prospect of seeing a therapist. Whether that’s because of a prior therapy experience, guardedness about your emotions, or even the way you were raised, Michael can work with you so that your time in therapy is comfortable and productive. 
• See A Therapist Who Specializes In Treating Men. There are actually therapists who specialize in helping men specifically, and Michael Anthony is one of them. Michael takes special pride in helping other men find success in their friendships, careers, and romantic relationships by offering productive solutions to their problems.

How Art Therapy Teaches Self-Love

Art therapy is a window through which we can observe ourselves. Unlike something like a mirror or a photograph (which lets us see a version of our outer appearance), art therapy helps us to take a snapshot of our inner world (along with all the insight that implies). 

By plainly and non-judgmentally observing ourselves, we are taking a small step towards self-love. But when we do it right, art therapy can help us to see the truly unique, powerful, and beautiful aspects of our inner being.

• Just Making Time For Art Is An Act Of Self-Love. In our busy schedules, it can be a challenge to carve out the time to be creative. It is my deeply held belief that we can always find the space for art in our lives, but sometimes we lack the self-commitment to actually get it done. So if you’ve found the time and space to make some art, you’re well on your way to exploring your self-love. 
• Art Therapy Can Lift You Up When You’re Depressed. There’s a reason that many artists suffer from depression, and it’s not that the act of making art wears at your soul like an untrimmed toenail through your favorite sock. Art actually treats some of depression’s most debilitating symptoms, and it can act as an escape from some of its most painful ones. 
• The Right Art Therapist Can Unlock Your Self-Love. If you’re looking to expand your self-love practices, working with an art therapy expert could be just what you’re looking for. Quinn Smalley, LMHC, is a therapist in St. Petersburg who specializes in virtual art therapy. 

“Right here people might bring up Vincent van Gogh as an example of a painter who did great work in spite of—or because of—his suffering. I like to think that van Gogh would have been even more prolific and even greater if he wasn’t so restricted by the things tormenting him. I don’t think it was pain that made him so great—I think his painting brought him whatever happiness he had.” – David Lynch

How A Counselor Makes Self-Love Into A Habit 

“Self-care can be difficult. The thing about self-care is that it’s seemingly simple, but it’s not always easy. The real difficult part is getting yourself to do the self-care. But once you get into the habit- and it takes around 21 days to form a habit- once you form that habit with your self-care practices, then it becomes muscle memory. Honey crystalizes, but when you warm it up, it returns to its liquid state. Resistance to self-care practices is the crystalized honey, and you going against that resistance by getting out of bed earlier to pray and meditate or read is you warming up the honey.” – Alli Cravener, Counselor In Training

• Test Your Self-Compassion. Kristin Neff does a lot of great work when it comes to the field of self-love, so her entire website is a great resource for those embarking on a self-love journey. Try out her self-compassion test and really see how much patience you have for yourself. 
• Set Strong Intentions For Your Self-Love. Setting an intention is really all about setting a goal and sticking to it, so if we need to cultivate self-love, intentions are a great place to start. A counselor like Alli can help you set realistic goals, and come up with a plan to realistically achieve them.
• Learn From Failure Instead Of Fearing It. Oftentimes the fear of failure prevents us from finding progress and true success. We do our best learning when we try something unsuccessfully, but sometimes our ego just can’t take the hit. Failure can be our greatest teacher, if we are willing to listen to what they’re saying in class.

Where Can I Find A Therapist Who Teaches Self-Love In St. Petersburg?

Integrative Counsel has therapists that help you release deeply engrained negative beliefs and embrace your most authentic self. We understand that finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, but our intake specialist, Alli, is here to make the process smooth and comfortable. Not only is Alli an experienced counselor in training, but she’s passionate about guiding individuals to the support they need. Fear not—Alli will take the time to listen to your needs and match you with a right-fit therapist who aligns with your goals and therapeutic preferences. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.