How to Use Gratitude to Fight Anxiety and Depression

Without gratitude, it is all too easy to fall under the spell of anxiety and depression. If we do not take the time to appreciate the world around us, we put ourselves on a path to curse the world and all that it might offer. If we can be grateful for the calm darkness of the twilight, we do not need to live in fear until the sunrise.

It’s easier to be grateful when everything is going well for us, but when things get tough, that’s when we need our gratitude the most. Whether you’re in the middle of thanksgiving dinner or in the midst of your dark night of the soul, gratitude is a valuable resource to have at your disposal. So where do we learn to use gratitude as a coping tool? How can you use gratitude to find the light in darkness? 

“It is better to light one small candle of gratitude than to curse the darkness.” Confucius

How Does Gratitude Reduce Anxiety? 

It’s not easy to be grateful when you’re wracked with anxiety. It is not something most of us do on reflex. It requires mindful practice. Gratitude is a muscle, and we must train it every day to stay strong. 

But doesn’t all of that sound really hard? Nobody wants to put in all that effort if it’s not going to have any benefit. What does gratitude actually do for your anxiety? 

• It’s A Tool For When Your Anxiety Rises. By practicing our gratitude, we’re polishing an important element in our toolkit. No matter how anxious we get, we can always reflect upon the things we are grateful for to anchor us into a comfortable reality. 
• Affirming The Good Things In Your Life. Simply noticing and speaking aloud the things we’re grateful for can lift a huge weight from our spirit. Affirmations are another great psychological tool that we can access through our gratitude, and they can act as an effective counterweight for the thoughts spurred on by our anxiety.
• Improving Your Relationships. The emotion of gratitude has a unique weight when it comes to our social interactions. When we act in gratitude, it deepens the closeness and appreciation of our relationships with others. 

How Does Gratitude Reduce Depression? 

When we’re coping with the most debilitating symptoms of depression, gratitude can feel impossible. There is truth in that feeling. Gratitude and depression do not peacefully coexist. When we act in depression, our gratitude is put on the back burner. When we act in gratitude, we are forced to question the material reality of our depression. After all, how can there be nothing to live for when there is so much to be grateful for? 

It’s harder to feel submerged in darkness when we’re holding a light in our hands. The two concepts live in opposition. So what do we have to do to rig the conflict in gratitude’s favor? 

• Maintaining Hope And Resilience. Gratitude allows us to hold on to the things we cherish even in the most dire of circumstances. Even when that which we are grateful for is distant in time and space, we can still use our appreciation and gratitude to light the candle of hope in our hearts. 
• Heightening Your Self-Esteem. Without appreciation for the world, how could we ever genuinely appreciate ourselves? In addition to making our relationships with others easier, gratitude can improve our relationship with ourselves by laying a foundation of positivity in our thought patterns.
• Attaining Growth Through Grief. The journey through grief, while painful, has the power to transform us. Gratitude, even in its smallest form, acts as a bridge between the heaviness of grief and the possibility of healing. Gratitude in grief doesn’t mean ignoring the pain or pretending it doesn’t exist. Rather, it helps us honor that pain as part of our human experience. 

Can I Learn To Be More Grateful? 

From infancy, we learn to emote by copying the responses of adults. Our father laughs at a funny face, so we laugh with him. Our mother stubs her toe and cries out, so we cry with her. Our parents may or may not have set a good example for us when it comes to the emotion of gratitude, but it is never too late to get in touch with your emotionality. 

I’ll be honest with you, it was easier to learn (anything) when we were children. In learning to be grateful, you are undertaking a challenging task (although it is one with a desirable reward). The challenge is that to learn gratitude, we must practice gratitude until it becomes muscle memory. The reward is conscious appreciation for all that life has to offer. So how do we get there?

• Write A Gratitude List. Make a list of things you are grateful for. It can have a theme (like people, events from your life, or things in your immediate field of vision), but it doesn’t have to. The important thing is that you are recognizing the things you love and appreciate in your life. 
• Make Thank You Cards. One of the most expressive ways to feel your gratitude is by communicating it to the people you appreciate. Who has done you a favor? Who has given you a great gift? Who has taught you an important lesson? Write these people a card saying thank you. It doesn’t have to be store bought. In fact, it shouldn’t be. All it has to be is an envelope with a piece of paper inside that says how much you appreciate what someone else has done for you. 
• Make Gratitude Your Ritual. There’s a reason so many people talk to God before they eat dinner. If gratitude is a daily ritual that you commit to, you can turn your conscious efforts into instinctual ones. Depending on who you are, it can look like daily prayer, telling your partner (or pet!) all the ways they helped you today, or sending a text of appreciation to a different friend each morning. 

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” – Alphonse Karr

Who Can Teach Me How To Use Gratitude? 

Sometimes we just can’t learn the lesson on our own. Having the right guide can make all the difference in the world, but finding them can be a struggle in and of itself. We have guides who can help you master the art of gratitude no matter where you are on your journey.

• Michael helps you in being grateful for others. Whether it’s in individual sessions or couples counseling, Michael’s bread and butter is helping people connect with one another.
• Quinn helps you to be grateful as you deal with new situations.  Transitions are when we need our gratitude the most, and Quinn can help you as you move from one phase of your life to the next. 
• Lauren helps you find gratitude for the past. Trauma can impact our lives in more ways than we realize. Lauren can help you unpack what’s in your past and appreciate the hard-earned lessons you’ve been working towards. 
• Alli helps you be grateful for everyday miracles. Do you feel like you can’t get in touch with the sense of wonder you felt in childhood? Alli can help you rediscover the enthusiasm that adulthood has neglected and find the fun in your everyday routine. 

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.