How can you deal with stress in an effective way?

It can show up unexpectedly, and it isn’t always obvious how to cope with the things that are stressing us out. Stress can make it harder to do your work, communicate with loved ones, and enjoy your life. To live a full and rich life, it’s necessary to learn how to cope with stress. Without prior experience, however, there’s a lot to learn, and it can feel overwhelming to put into practice. Thankfully, mental health professionals and spiritual leaders have been studying stress for as long as humans have experienced it, and we’ve collected some of that wisdom here.

How To Relieve Stress

The simplest way to deal with your stress is by self-soothing. These are the  things that make us feel calm, steady, happy, or even just a little better. By self-soothing when you’re stressed out, you can take responsibility for your own feelings. Rather than reacting to your anxiety, you instead take a second to tend to what you can control-yourself! In treating your pain, you also give yourself subtle validation. You tell your body “This stress is serious, and so I am taking care of it!”

Here are a few self-soothing techniques to get you started:

Mindfulness. Being mindful means comfortably existing in the present moment, something that can feel elusive when we’re stressed. Above, I’ve linked to a series called Shortcuts To Zen With Jen by the brilliant LMHC Jennifer H. Carey, which is full of helpful advice on mindfulness and finding comfort in the present moment. 

De-escalation. As Isaac Newton once said, an object in motion stays in motion. Humans are very much the same. When we’re upset, we have a tendency to continue being upset, or even make ourselves feel worse through catastrophization, self-sabotage, or self-harm. One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves when we’re stressed is to take things slowly, zoom out, and think everything through.

Reach Out. When we’re stressed out, communication is sometimes the last thing on our minds, but it can be our greatest savior when we’re most in need. If you’ve got a big problem, and the burden weighs heavy on your aching shoulders, then go to a loved one and ask for help! Even if they can’t help you with the physical task, the psychological benefits of moral support are too plentiful to list here. Humans are social animals, and we were meant to reach out, communicate, and save one another from the clutches of stress.

What’s The Point Of Stress? 

Stress, sadness, and even pain evolved in humans because they, somehow, helped us to survive. They sent important messages to us that, when correctly interpreted, can make our lives immeasurably easier. When we’re stressed, that’s our physical body whispering to our conscious mind: “Something is wrong.” 

Is It Your Circumstances? Oftentimes we find ourselves in phases of our life that are incredibly stressful, but ultimately beyond our control. These are moments where we need to self-soothe, and let go. They are also moments where you learn how to bounce back from adversity and keep going. We all have the capacity to be resilient, however, if you need guidance on how to harness the power of resilience, we have this mini-course available just for you.

Is It Your Past? A traumatic experience in our past can leave us profoundly stressed out, even if the present moment is safe and comfortable. If you suspect that your stress is a consequence of your trauma, then this is your invitation to investigate, integrate, and heal from your past. 

Is It Your Attitude? Being in a bad mood can have a powerful enlarging effect on your stress. If you are feeling sick, tired, grumpy, and stressed, then your prescription is being optimistic, fostering hopefulness, or at least having a little bit of fun. 

How A Therapist Suggests You Deal With Stress: 

Quinn Smalley is one of our counselors in St. Petersburg who helps people learn how to deal with their stress every day. Here’s what she had to say about dealing with stress: 

“When you are feeling stressed, try to pay attention to what is going on physically inside you, and how that translates into your thoughts and behaviors. Are you able to sit with this stress? Identify its triggers? Identify what can/cannot be done? Identify what you may have misinterpreted from a situation that is causing stress? Can you identify a self-soothing technique that may help you physically feel better so you can deal with the stressor with clarity? Stress is a normal reaction to an emotionally charged situation. Try and identify how this stressor is actually a helpful messenger that may give you some direction for the answers you seek. Where does it guide you?”

If you’re struggling with stress and anxiety and need extra support, click here to schedule an appointment with Quinn.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.