Bad communication can sap the hope out of deeply meaningful relationships. Sometimes, we struggle to communicate with the people we care for the most. School might have taught us grammar and vocabulary to improve our communication, but students are seldom given the emotional education they need. We have to teach ourselves the lesson instead.

Is Lack Of Communication A Red Flag?

Solid communication is vital in every relationship, and a lack of communication can cause conflict, misunderstanding, and heartache. But it’s not always obvious where we go wrong in our communication, and the red flags can be all too easily ignored. When given the right care and compassion, you can work through these issues. But what do some of these red flags even look like? 

• Lack of communication. What things are going unsaid in your relationship? Without a proper line of communication, you might find yourself with an abundance of misunderstanding. If you both put in the work, and allow the other person in, you can break through a lack of communication like a broken silence. 

• Jealousy. The insidious thing about jealousy is that it makes you miserable over your partner’s success. As much as we loathe to admit, jealousy is something we all cope with. But your jealousy needn’t be a shamefully repressed impulse. With mindfulness, you can figure out why you feel so jealous, and transform it into your greatest teacher. 

• Constant argument. Contrary to popular belief, arguing in a relationship can be a good thing. At the end of an argument, couples who argue can often find understanding, compromise, and intimacy that they wouldn’t otherwise. But if you’re arguing non-stop, then you’re getting all the stress of an argument and few of the benefits.

How Many Relationships End Over Communication Issues?

Most divorced people (some studies suggest over 60%) self-report that their marriages ended due to poor communication. I’m sure just anecdotally you can think of a few relationships (romantic or otherwise) that faded in the crucible of miscommunication. So we know that it’s a serious issue, and something that’s worth working on. But what can we do to make it better?

Can You Fix Communication Issues In A Relationship? 

Rather than being just one easy-to-identify issue, communication issues are often the result of many independent factors working at once. So what can you do to address these individual issues and start the process of healing? 

• Learn your partner’s love language. Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship can tell you: Some affection is better received than others. It can be painful to make a bid for affection that goes unappreciated. By learning about our loved ones’ love languages, we can show our affection in a way that they can appreciate and understand.

• Manage your mood. Often, we struggle to manage our relationships because we struggle to manage ourselves. You can’t control the actions of others, but you can take responsibility for your reaction to it. 

• Develop your coping skills. When we were born, crying was all we knew about communication. As we get older, we have the opportunity to expand our toolkit with things like DEAR MAN and Opposite Action. These skills can be tricky to master, but your relationships are worth it.

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.