Finding the right guide can be a lengthy journey, longer for some of us than for others.

After all, choosing your mentor requires you to picture your ideal future through the hazy and out-of-focus lens of the imperfect present. To get the most out of your mentorship (and making the matter even more complicated), you must find a mentor who is willing to guide you through the ups and downs of your education. On top of everything else, as if all that wasn’t already enough, oftentimes you have to take a proactive role as a good student in order to learn well. So, in your journey to find your guide, be a good student, and learn your vital lessons, here is some well-worn wisdom.

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey 

Where Can I Find My Mentor? 

A guide can appear in many different places. Often it’s somebody you already know who steps up and shares their wisdom with you, but your mentor could take many different forms in your path to knowledge. 

• In Your Past. As children, we take on mentors involuntarily. After all, learning from another is often the simplest way for someone to get a strong education. If you take an inventory of your past, you can certainly find those certain people (parents, teachers, older kids) who have taught you important lessons, either through instruction or example. Although these people may not be in your life anymore, it can be educational to reflect on the mentors of your past in order to recognize what you’re seeking in the future. 
• In Discovering What You Want To Learn. A mentor is somebody who has access to the information you want to learn. So in order to effectively search for the right mentor, you should first seek out what that information is. You can uncover this through making an intention board, undergoing serious self-reflection, or anything that involves taking a long, hard look at yourself. 

• In Empowering Yourself. By empowering yourself through self-education, such as reading this article right now, you give yourself an excellent opportunity to find your perfect mentor. In our Empower Roundtable, we’ve brought together some of the best therapists, coaches, and wise women we know to help people like you step into their highest power.

Why Is It So Hard To Find A Guide?

For one in search of a proper teacher, at times it can be a grueling experience. Finding the right guide isn’t easy, and there are a lot of reasons that people can get held up along the way. 

• I Struggle To Maintain Relationships. Maintaining your relationships is a skill, and it isn’t one all of us were taught at home. In order to have a good relationship with your mentor, that starts with maintaining the relationships with those already close to you.

• I Don’t Want To Change. If you haven’t resolved to make changes in your life, you will struggle to find a mentor that will guide you through a changeless journey. In order to find your mentor, you must first work through the story that your behavior shouldn’t have to change. You must also work through your overall fear of change, and acknowledge that it is the only certainty in our world.

• I Have Stories That Hold Me Back. We all have stories that guide us through the perils of everyday life. Some of these stories comfort us, while others leave us drained and full of dread. Friend of Integrative Counsel and beloved guide to her community, Jennifer H. Carey, dives into this every week on her podcast, Illuminating The Stories That Bind Us. She can teach you how to illuminate the stories that keep you from moving forward, and also how to release them.

Which Guide Is Right For Me? 

At Integrative Counsel, we have a number of specialists equipped to deal with your journey specifically. Wherever you are on the path to healing, we have somebody who can meet you there, and guide you the rest of the way. 

• Guide Me To Serenity. Staying calm can save your life. But life itself makes the process of staying calm into something that is slow to learn and difficult to master. Michael Anthony uses a blend of talk therapy, lived experience, and martial arts to help his clients reach a new state of serenity and wisdom.

• Guide Me Through My Trauma. When untreated, the wounds of our past can make the future appear blurry and unappealing. Our counselor, Lauren Mishkin, specializes in guiding her clients as they process the trauma of their past 
• Guide Me To My Highest Potential. A life transition isn’t always a marriage, death, or divorce. Adjusting to a new school, city, or job can be incredibly tricky. Our counselor, Quinn, specializes in helping you come to terms with your new situation and reach the potential you’ve always had.

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.