What Do I Do? Coping with Something You Can’t Fix

Hurricanes, flooding, and unexpected death are challenging calls to action that we can be entirely unprepared for. You can be the most thorough doomsday prepper in the world, and be completely distraught when it comes time to bunker down. When we’re beset by problems as uncontrollable and immutable as the weather and the ceaseless march of time, we need a strong toolkit that we can rely on. 

Therapy is a powerful resource that we can call upon when there’s so much that’s out of our control. We don’t know what the future holds, but we do know that we’ll be the one who has to deal with it. So how do we deal with it?

What Therapeutic Skills Can Help You Accept Something You Can’t Fix? 

It serves us well to try and fix the things that distress us, but there are certain uncomfortable moments that we have no choice but to sit with. If we rely on fixing our problems for comfort and safety, this can turn into a huge issue when faced with a problem that is uncomfortable and unsolvable. 

Through the skills we learn in therapy, we can face these unsolvable problems with patience and serenity. So which skills can help you make the best of an uncontrollable situation?

• Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the act of existing in  and accepting the present moment. It might seem counterintuitive to ground yourself in the present moment when you’re going through something really tough. In fact, many of us have an almost irresistible instinct to dissociate in these events through denial, substance use, toxic positivity, or some combination of the three. Mindfulness can help you stay grounded in reality without giving in to despair. It helps you become comfortable with what is uncomfortable. It is letting what happens be without attaching to an outcome.
• Self-Soothing With All 5 Senses. Self-soothing provides sensory comfort through small tangible actions, like lighting a candle or incense, sniffing essential oils, or wrapping yourself in a warm blanket. When we comfort ourselves, we can provide a sense of safety and control that isn’t guaranteed by our environment.
• Radical Acceptance. “We all face events in life (sometimes more than one all at once) that knock us off our usual routine of coping. Maybe a creative endeavor is usually enough. Maybe medication is usually enough. Maybe our workout routine is usually enough. But there is that one situation that just rattles your bones. Uncertainty can cause a very specific kind of distress marked by helplessness, obsessive desire for control, or feeling like you are floating through your own chapter in life. My advice for those struggling through an uncertain season of life is to get grounded. Find your anchor through breathwork, creative flow, guided imagery, routine, and present moment awareness. One of the hardest things to do during uncertainty is to accept what is going on and accept the lack of control. An effective way to do this can be to hold space for our emotions but also activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Honor how you feel but lean into the part of yourself that observes these emotions and knows it is all temporary. Temporary feelings can feel heavy and everlasting in the moment, like when a wave crashes over you and you try to find your way out, but it is impossible to stay on the same wave forever. In a more observant state, you can separate what is in your control and what is out of your control here in a more factual way.” – Quinn Smalley, LMHC

Natural Disaster Counseling That Accepts My Insurance  

It’s storm season, 2025, and if there’s anything we learned from storm season, 2024, it’s exactly how stressful that can be. When you’re picking up the pieces, it’s important to find therapy that is accessible, affordable, and understanding. 

No matter what insurance you have, Integrative Counsel can help you find a counselor that understands. Our team works for you, so that means being transparent about which insurances we accept, working on a sliding scale for clients who need it, and even if we don’t accept your insurance, we want to help you find a therapist who does!

• Therapists Who Accept Aetna Insurance. It’s daunting to face your mental health issues on a budget. Who wants to decide between a quality therapist and one who’s favored by our healthcare plan? With our team, you don’t have to choose. 
• Counselors Who Accept United Healthcare. Our counselors aren’t just a sympathetic ear when times get tough. They offer you real solutions for whatever problem you’re facing, and they accept United Healthcare!
• Counseling For People With Optum Oscar. Finding the right therapist for you can be like rolling a boulder uphill. Finding the right therapist for both you and your insurance can be like rolling a boulder uphill every day and having it roll back down again every night. If you have insurance from Optum (whether it’s Optum Oscar, Optum Oxford, or United Optum, we can match you with a right-fit counselor who’s covered by your plan.

How Would A Counselor Help You Find Acceptance?

• Rely On The People Who Support You. Connection is a powerful antidote to isolation, especially when life feels out of control. Letting others show up for you is not a burden; it’s a form of mutual care that strengthens resilience. Spending quality time, opening up about your feelings, and asking for help when you need it can lessen the burden on your shoulders and bring you closer to the people who care for you.
• Acknowledge Your Nervous System To Stay Grounded. Your nervous system is constantly scanning for danger because it wants to keep you safe. Your racing heart, shallow breath, or shaking hands are not inconveniences to be hidden, they are symptoms of a problem your body is trying to handle. When we want to calm down, it serves us better to acknowledge and accept the messages our body is sending us, even if we don’t like what those messages have to say. When our feelings don’t feel heard, they get louder, so take a minute to acknowledge your emotions rather than trying to hide them away. Our emotions have important messages for us and show us what our needs are.
• Be Kind To Yourself. If we rely on a sense of control to access our self-esteem, our self-worth becomes out of reach as soon as we encounter a problem that is beyond our fixing. That’s why self-love is so important in times of crisis; it helps us maintain our sense of worthiness even when we don’t have something tangible to offer. Remember, if you’re busy beating yourself up, you may not have the time or the ability to act on your next opportunity to help.

“Sometimes in life we go through sudden stressful events, especially as we approach the storm season!  The hurricanes last year affected many people, but this is not the only example of stressful moments.  Sudden passings or illnesses, disagreements with the political landscape, other unexpected life events, these moments can leave us feeling isolated and in crisis. The  most important thing we can do is examine our support network and identify those in your circle that you can turn to.  Additionally, do not be afraid to engage those supports and try to move away from the belief of being a ‘burden’ or ‘they have their own stuff going on.’  Supports are there to support!  Of course, scheduling some therapy sessions can be helpful as well, but outside of the office it is important to identify who is there for us when we need it most!” – Michael Anthony, LCSW

St. Petersburg Therapy For Storm-Related Trauma 

Our therapists are trained in somatic therapy and EMDR to treat trauma and PTSD. Trauma gets stuck in the body, and can cause pain or symptoms of anxiety and depression. After an unexpected event like a hurricane, you might like you’re always on edge, or detached and disconnected from others. You might either be hyperaware of everything around you, or feel numb to the world.   When you are able to access your body-informed wisdom and build a map for your nervous system, you can better navigate trauma and the symptoms that arise. When you return to your body, you return to the present moment, which is the only place where healing can really happen.

 If you need extra support, working with a trauma therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your right-fit therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.