Couples therapy can be an intimidating prospect. The thought of inviting another person (even a mental health professional) to analyze our relationship can be off-putting to many, and completely alienating to some couples. There may be things in our relationship that feel too overwhelming or painful to change.  But for those who work through the initial discomfort, with the right counselor, the benefits can be astounding. The most powerful thing you can do for your relationship is have the awareness of what needs to change and taking action, even when it’s challenging, to make those changes.

“Having to apologize, make adjustments, or patch things up is not necessarily a sign of a bad fit. It’s a sign that people value one another and are willing to work through the rough spots and stick together.” – John Gottman

Is Therapy Worth It For Couples?

Many are skeptical of therapy because, at times, its benefits can be unclear. After all, going to counseling doesn’t guarantee that you heal your relationship, and some couples attend counseling and still break up. For some, the project of change can be more frightening than any dysfunctional relationship. So if all that is true, then why is therapy worth it for couples? 

• Investing In Your Relationship. Attending couples therapy is making a commitment to improve your relationship. If your partner is asking to go to couples counseling, then attending is a show of good faith. You are saying: “I care about the health of our relationship, and I am willing to risk discomfort to heal it.” 

• Having A Neutral Mediator. If there are intense conflicts in your relationship, it can be enlightening to get a third party opinion, especially from a professional. Your couples counselor can listen to what you both have to say, and help you find common ground in unexpected places. 

• Opening Up A Strong Line of Communication. When we’re trying to communicate with our partner, it can be a process of trial and error. Our families don’t always provide good role models for strong communication, and there is no one definitive manual or ruleset for being an effective communicator to everyone. However, in couples therapy we can learn how to communicate with our partner specifically. In learning how to speak their language you can deepen the closeness and intimacy of your relationship like nothing else could.

How Do You Know If You Need Couples Counseling?

For many couples, counseling is a great option to improve the health of their relationship. But how can you tell if you’re one of them?  

• My Spouse Says I Don’t Listen. In relationships where one or more of the participants have stopped listening, counseling can be a lifeline. If you or your spouse struggle to hear or be heard, then couples therapy could benefit you.

• We Struggle With Jealousy. Jealousy is a natural part of the human experience that we all encounter to varying degrees. Experiencing jealousy on its own might not be cause for going to counseling, but if issues of jealousy keep popping up in your relationship, then couples therapy can be the best place to heal it.

• We Constantly Argue. Some arguing in a relationship is normal, and even healthy, but we can all imagine how exhausting it is to be in a relationship of constant argument. If you find yourself coming into conflict over and over, then seeking out a counselor can get you your peace back. 

Where Can You Go For Couples Therapy? 

Our practitioner Michael specializes in couples counseling, and he helps real couples work through their struggles every day. Michael uses the Gottman Method in his couple’s counseling. He will help you and your partner build love maps, which will deepen your understanding of each other. He will also help you learn to turn towards your partner, manage conflict, and create shared meaning. Click here to speak with our intake specialist, Alli, and schedule a session with Michael.

“Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” – Kahlil Gibran

 If you feel stuck on your healing journey, working with a therapist can help. Based on your needs, our intake specialist will help you get matched up with your perfect therapist. Click here to schedule a consultation.

Sunny Ebsary is an educator, multi-modal artist, and writer specializing in the intersection of myth and mental health. Sunny’s writing walks the line between poetic and logical, giving readers a chance to interface with the mind and imagination. Sunny’s been putting pen to paper since he was a child, writing everything from albums, novels, and plays, to essays, interactive games, and of course, many articles! While studying both psychology and writing, he realized his real passion in life was helping others unlock their creative spark. Whether he’s leading a D&D game, directing a production, or diving deep into the brain, you can be sure Sunny will be ushering you toward finding meaning in your life.